your room smells of hookers.
And success
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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