She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
