I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
