omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
