Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Houston, we have a blender
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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