he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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