Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
