come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
