yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
