She announced her abortion via fbk
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
