Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
