Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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