you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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