bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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