I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
