your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
