...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
