I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
only if we run a train.
done.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
