I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
