Dual....:-)
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
