So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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