After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
