my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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