hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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