Soap is not a condiment
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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