So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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