I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
