shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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