SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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