We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
