You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I've blown a few things in my day
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
