Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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