Pappa wants mamma naked
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
