used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
