I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
