Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize