Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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