All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
