Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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