Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i think i just lost a toe
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