k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
