He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize