theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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