super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i think i have two assholes
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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