Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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