I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Randomize
