He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
