I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
