its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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