My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You pole danced in your parka.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
