alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
