I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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