Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
