Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize