whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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