I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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