he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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