look no pants
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
