I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
