did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
