i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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